Death of a dead soul
by Kalk'i Na-Bakti
Summary: A story based greatly on true events depicting the events that made a normal teenager turn to deep dpression and darkness and his eventual death.
1. Chapter 1

Death of a dead soul

It is a cold night... like it always was.. Sera sat at his usual spot in front of an abandoned apartment complex, flipping his dirty silver lighter open and closed... open and closed.. over and over again, just staring out, thinking. He is dressed in simple baggy, dark green pants with a cut in the fabric by the large side-poket. He has a black shirt on with a black, beat up light jaket over it. His hood is not up, exposing his dirty-blonde hair. He is still, his only action flipping his lighter open and closed. He is gothic, depressed, and utterly sad beyong any belif. Alot has happened to him over the course of the last 4 years. He is 16 years old and six foot one. His life, is a mess. At 15, he realized his life sucked. At the time, his brother was in need of special attention (his legs were very bad), so he had a friend over every day to see him. Her name, was kathern. When Sera's brother was sick, Sera and kathern would talk sometimes. Sera developed quite a liking for Kathern, he eventually learned he loved her alot. He had told her he was depressed and wanted so badly to die, but couldn't as he wanted to be killed, not die because of suicide. She too, was gothic in a way and understanded in a way. One day, while sera's brother was deep in sleep, Sera and kathern were talking and sera explained how he didn't want to die without experiancing a somewhat full life, even though he planned on dying soon. He also explained how he was in love with her... She smiled, and kissed Sera. It was sera's first real kiss and the sparks really flew, he was in the best mood of his life. That day, they made out and Sera experianced love with the girl he loved so much for the first time. They continued this for a few days, after Sera's brother fell asleep of corse, each day going farther and farther. One day, while they kissed, Sera was holding her in his arms and his fingers touched one of her breasts. He immideately apolagized and backed off slowly, expecting her to be furious. However, she smiled and pulled her shirt and bra off, exposing her petit, but perfect breasts. He simply went along, as she pulled him back onto the bed, taking off the rest of her clothes. That night, they made sweet love, exploring the bodies of each other, the person they love (she confessed that she loved Sera as he loved her). Days went by, Sera's brother never really falling asleep long enough for Sera and Kathern to be with each other. More days went by, the only way for them to be together being for two minutes tops. One day, as kathern was with Sera's brother in his chamber, Sera walked to the room for his brother'r regular checkup. As he neared the door, he heard sounds, which he duced was the TV (it was always on in there). As he grew closer to the door, he noticed the sounds were somehow different. He reached the door, and turned the knob, opening the door to his eternal tourment. 


	2. Chapter 2

The pain doesn't hurt... if its all I've ever felt.  
Those who hurt me and those I hurt.  
They have no idea...

The door opened as Sera gazed into the dark room. There, his eyes saw something he couldn't belive. His eyes ajusted to the darkness as he saw Kathern's back... her bare back... and her head, tilted back with her beautifully long brunette hair dangling over her arched back. He heard moaning and saw her move up and down. He froze, thinking to himself 'do my eyes lie to me?' as there, right in front of him, was the girl he gave his heart to, the girl he loved more than anything in the world and would die for, sitting on his brother, legs open wide, clothes off. He heard his brother moaning and saw a huge smile on his face as he held her thighs and helped her up and down, up and down, up and down.. faster and faster. Sera felt weak, he grabbed his cheast and felt his heart raging out of control. He felt his legs weak and his eyes filled with pure hatred and betrayal. In his mind, he simply said 'why?", and turned around, walking away, his brother and his lover bonding and becoming one, as he and Kathern did. In their estesy, they did not notice him. Sera walked calmly to his room on the other side of the house and sat on his small bed, thinking. Throughout his body, a war of emotions and feelings raged and dragged him deeper and deeper into the darkness. He hunched over, supporting his head with his arms as a tear gently rolled down his cheek. He looked up, seeing the kitchen knife he had put on his desk. He stood up, walking to his desk and picking up the blade. In his mind, as the blade went into his stomach, and a scarlet river flowed down, all he thought about was how he had loved her with all his heart and what she just did. His eyes closed and and his mind fell into an abyss of darkness... a deep, deep sleep, the word 'why' echoing inside his head as he fell to the ground... 


	3. Chapter 3

Bright lights passed and went by Sera's closed eyes. He was in an ambulance and street lights kept him from dozing off completely. He cursed them under his breath. The ambulance was called thirty minutes after he stabbed himself (is it any wonder?), which gave time to bleed, alot. He had lost almost 4 pints of blood by the time the paramedics stopped the bleeding and Sera was very weak. He saw blurs of the paramedics, talking amoungs themselfs about his condition. The amdulance hit a bump in the road and Sera winced in pain. He looked slowly around a little to have Kathern come into veiw. She was sitting right next to his brother, almost on him (Sera wasn't surprized). She had her arms around him and had her head on his cheast. He simply sat there, a grin on his face (as usual), petting her hair like Sera did. She was smiling and purring in the way she did when Sera held her and petted her. She was so happy there, Sera simply stared. Then, he forced his arms up and re-opened his wounds. It was painful but, it was a small price to pay to interupt them. He didn't deserve to hold her and love her and have her love him. Her eyes opened and she looked at the paramedics. She said something with a slight hint of consern. The paramedic looking back answered and got to work on the wound. She nodded and put a finger in Sera's face, shaking it like to say "dont move", and went back to cuddling with Sera's brother. They fell asleep soon after they made it to the hospital, Kathern with a big smile on and her hand on Sera's brother's, right under her pants. Sera could tell this was because they were still a little in their estesy. Sera was now being rolled down a hallway, doctors doing small tests and checking on sera's condition. But Sera didn't feel them. He was numb. All his feeling was in his head. He thought the whole time about it. One word echoing over and over again in his mind: "why?". Sera's parents came by as soon as they could from work. He could tell they were worried but, his attention was always on Kathern and his brother. All he could do was lay there while he watched he girl he really thought loved him smooching with his very own brother. It was a tourture greater than anything one can imagine, and all Sera could do was sit there. Sera eventually gained full consiousness and mobility, but stayed in the hospital just in case. When asked how it happened, he simply said he was walking with the knife to his room to work on a wood sculpture and tripped. They belived him. Sera didn't see much of the lovebirds; he duced she was sharing Marajiuana with him, like she promised shed do with Sera but never did. Sera eventually felt well enough to go back to school, after his joy of getting a single get-well card at all, from his only friend at school, a nerdy Pueto-rican named Luis. He didn't expect any at all. 


	4. Chapter 4

By his first day back at school since the incident, word had spread and rumors about Sera being suicidal and weird (to say the least) filled the ears of everyone. At the hallway, people backed away from him and every day, everyone stared at him like some kind of freak. The people he thought were his friends walked away when he said 'hello' and whenever he got anywhere near someone by accident, they would scream. Then, came the beatings. A few of the local gangs decided that it would be good for their social-stats to beat-up Sera. They came one day after gym and started pushing him around, asking what it was like to cut himself and laughing. Then, someone (he couldn't tell who) punched his head and everyone started with him. Fists coming from everywhere and leaving cuts and bruises. Sera had a trick, however, of nulling all bodily pain to a great extent. It was a trick he learned since he was 13 to control pain. He used it and felt almost nothing. They eventually got tired and started walking away, shouting every dis known to man and laughing amounst themselves. Sera got up and looked around. There was a small group of spectators who watched but by that time left. All they wanted was to watch the 'freak get what he deserves'. There was someone who stayed, however; a girl. She looked petrified and didn't move, Sera took a step towards her. She screamed and kicked him bellow the belt, after which seeing him fall, she yelled disgusting things about him: "you really ARE a freak, SUICIDAL MAN!". She ran away afterwards. So know, all Sera could do, was lay on the ground, bleeding from places that bled recently and new alike. He simply looked at the ground and thought: "Why god? Why all this to me? Why? What did I ever do? Why? Why...? Why..." he lay there on the ground until 10 minutes later when the school staff found him and helped him to the office. His mom picked him up 20 minutes later and he had to explain EVERYTHING. She didn't understand any of it and blamed it on him. He simply sat there and agreed, like he had to. 


	5. Chapter 5

And so now, Sera sits on the steps of an abandonned apartment complex. It is barren and dark, cold, and murky. Sera closes his eyes and pushes away the memory of Kathern and everyone else. Shortly after going back to school, he heard from a very good friend of his online (who happened to be a girl) and who Sera actually liked a little, on instant messenger. She began talking about a party she went to (with a good attitude and no shame) and started talking about how awesome all these guys were in bed. He has asked her if she did 'it' often. She replied with a 'photo share' where she posted twenty pictures of different boys in their fifteens, seventeens, and even twenties and higher. She was only 15 and a half. That was the thing with Sera... he hated more than anything in the world to hear girls talk about their sex-life to him, esspesialy if he happens to like her. This enfuriated him and led him on a rage, where he lost control and because all that happened, had amental break-down a day later. After that and his slow re-habilitaion, he returned home and began thinking about god. One week later he did a Satanic rite-of-passage ritual and everything went to hell. After the ritual, the air was always heavier, the breeze always colder, and the shadows, much much more dementing. He didn't sleep right for days after that, always kept awake by fear and deep paranioa. Sera was a mess. No one at ALL loved him anymore, save the people who had to, his family. Sera's life was miserable, no more joy in life, no more fun, no more laughing with his friends, no more friends, no more love... ever... Everywhere Sera went, people looked at him strange and his own mother put him in a mental hospital for a few weeks until he proved he was entirely sane. Sera now spent his days after tourturous hours of school sitting at this lonely street corner, watching cars drive by and thinking about all that happened. Sometimes, a girl (gothic is fasion like him) would walk by and nod hello. He once tried asking her name, but she simply looked at him like he was crazy and walked off. Sera sat there, flipped open his lighter and looked at it before flipping it closed. He first heard the car when it was about a wuarter of a mile away. It was obvious there were jocks in it, the group at school who beat him up and taunted him after school. He could tell they were drunk, but something was different... He looked towards the car and saw the 1989 corvete filled with four boys around his age in orange jackets and jeans. And then he saw the gun. One of the boys in the back was waving it around and fired a shot 20 meters from Sera. He knew this was bad so, he got up prontly and pulled him jacket over his cheast, crossing his arms to keep it from falling open (the people at the hospital told him he did it because he was insecure). He started walking in the oppasite direction of the cars direction for a few seconds. He made it past them and felt relif, but then, he heard one of them shout his name. Sera stopped and slowly turned around to meet the eyes of a boy in the back of the car, which had stopped. Y-yeah? He said quickly to hide his fear. "Yoour the kid hoo tried to kill himselff, riggh? He said in an almost red-neck like accent. Some would say that yes... he looked at the pistol the boy in the front had handing out the window. The boy who was talking to him looked clumsily at what Sera was looking at and grabbed it, looking back at Sera. "Soh you liek ghuns eh?" He pointed the gun at Sera and smiled, laughing with his friends. Sera's eyes widened and he lets his arms drop. He couldn't move his mouth to talk. He was paralized with fear. Then, it happened... The boy sitting next to the one who had the gun suddenly covered his nose and let out a loud sneeze. The boy with the gun flinched and Sera heard the gun go off with a flash of light. The boys in the car widened their eyes and fell wuiet. One of them looked at Sera's ankles and looked at his buddies, chattering quietly. One of them spoke loud enough for Sera to hear to the driver of the car to go quickly and the car took off. He saw two of them laugh at something one of them said as they drove off. Sera let out a sigh of relif and pulled his jacket back over him, but it felt different. He looked down at it and saw what the boys drove off for. Down past his cheast, at his feet, was his body. It had a very bloody hole at the cheast leaving a large dark-red stain around his beloved jacket and his eyes (he was looking into his own eyes!), were blank and dead. Sera then kew, that he was dead and looking at his body. 


End file.
